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NOAH BARRETT — USA
Lived July 3 to July 5, 1996 Early-onset Mother's GBS Status: Tested negative Gestational Age: 36 weeks Age Harmed: 36 weeks gestation |
It was a beautiful summer day on July 3, 1996 when I kissed my two sons, Joshua, then 7 and Jacob, then 4, goodbye and headed to the hospital to give birth to my third son, Noah. We were filled with joy and excitement as the time neared for us to meet our new son. We could never imagined how quickly that joy would turn to sorrow.
Noah was born late that afternoon. He was 5 pounds 7 ounces and 19 inches long. He was beautiful, perfect! As soon as he was born he was briefly put on my chest as Mark, my husband, cut the cord. He was then taken to be cleaned up and checked over. Minutes after birth he began grunting, having a hard time breathing. The doctor and nurse were not too concerned, I had had a very quick delivery and they thought maybe all of the fluid had not been expelled from his lungs. He was taken to the NICU for observation and given oxygen. We were worried, but never did I ever imagine that our baby would not come home!
The next day we discovered that he had a Group B Strep infection. He would be on IV antibiotics for about 2 weeks. I remember being heartbroken that he would have to stay for 2 weeks. I wasn't overly worried, it was just an infection, they could fix that couldn't they? They give babies new hearts, save babies that are a pound, surely they could save my baby from an infection! Noah went down hill very quickly, but still I didn't think he could die, no one ever told me that GBS could be deadly. I knew that I was tested for it while I was pregnant. My test came back negative so I never gave it a second thought. If only I had known how serious it was. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that it was the number one infectious killer of newborns in the United States? I had such a false sense of security, my child could not die! All of my friends and family told me he couldn't die, wouldn't die, I believed them, I held on to that with every ounce of my being.
On July 5th Noah was barely holding on so we made the decision to send him to Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis, 3 hours from our home. We said our goodbye's to Noah in the NICU and returned home to gather our clothes and see our other boys before heading to Indianapolis. We were packing when the phone rang and a woman asked "Is this Noah's Mom?" I told her yes and she said that we needed to get back to the hospital right away, I just remember asking her over and over, "Is Noah okay?" She finally told me that Noah had gone into cardiac arrest in the elevator on the way to the ambulance to be transported. Mark and I drove to the hospital so fast and we just kept telling each other that Noah would be okay. When we arrived there were nurses and doctors waiting for us, they were all standing at the entrance to the NICU, I knew instinctively that my son, my precious Noah, was gone. I don't even remember anyone saying the words, I just remember falling to the ground and crying. We were able to spend some time with Noah, we took footprints and handprints, and a lock of his hair, we dressed him and even had our pictures taken with him, the only pictures with him we will ever have.
In the early days and weeks following Noah's death, I felt too alone and empty. I had a wonderful husband and two great boys at home, yet there was such an emptiness inside me and I could not see beyond my broken heart. Anytime I saw babies I thought that my heart would break all over again. I cried all the time, I lost my love for life, I was just barely surviving. I knew that I had to do something, my family was suffering. Mark and I had been married for 9 wonderful years, I read of how many marriages broke up after the death of a child, I did not want to be one of those statistics, I had already lost enough. My boys needed their mom back. But how, how could anything ever be right with my life again? My child had died, how could I ever be happy again? I knew I couldn't do it alone, so I reached out, I went to local support groups, there in the safe comfort of other grieving parents I found the strength and courage to go on . . . to begin to heal, grow and rebuild my life. I honestly believe had I not found the support of other bereaved parents I would not be where I am today.
My life was forever changed that day, July 5th, 1996. I will never be the same person I was before Noah entered our lives so briefly. It has now been 4 years since Noah left us. And time has helped to begin to heal my broken heart. I think that the healing will go on for a lifetime, I don't think it is ever complete, but I do believe that with time your grief does become manageable. I would not have believed that in the early days, weeks and months of my grief. Since that time, I have tried to turn my tragedy into triumph, for Noah. I want his 2 short days on this earth to count for something. I have since started Healing Hearts, through Healing Hearts I make hospital visits to new mom's when a baby dies, I started "Bear Hugs", I do In-Services with doctors and nurses to better help them understand how to help bereaved parents and I started a monthly support group for bereaved parents who have lost a baby. Noah was featured in an informational video on GBS for the CDC, ACOG and OB's all over the United States. Through helping other bereaved parents part of Noah does live on. His life does count, he has touched more peoples lives than many people who live a lifetime. I am so proud to be his Mommy.
— Melissa Barrett, IN, USA
Melissa started Healing Hearts www.healing-hearts-of-indiana.com
Noah was born late that afternoon. He was 5 pounds 7 ounces and 19 inches long. He was beautiful, perfect! As soon as he was born he was briefly put on my chest as Mark, my husband, cut the cord. He was then taken to be cleaned up and checked over. Minutes after birth he began grunting, having a hard time breathing. The doctor and nurse were not too concerned, I had had a very quick delivery and they thought maybe all of the fluid had not been expelled from his lungs. He was taken to the NICU for observation and given oxygen. We were worried, but never did I ever imagine that our baby would not come home!
The next day we discovered that he had a Group B Strep infection. He would be on IV antibiotics for about 2 weeks. I remember being heartbroken that he would have to stay for 2 weeks. I wasn't overly worried, it was just an infection, they could fix that couldn't they? They give babies new hearts, save babies that are a pound, surely they could save my baby from an infection! Noah went down hill very quickly, but still I didn't think he could die, no one ever told me that GBS could be deadly. I knew that I was tested for it while I was pregnant. My test came back negative so I never gave it a second thought. If only I had known how serious it was. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that it was the number one infectious killer of newborns in the United States? I had such a false sense of security, my child could not die! All of my friends and family told me he couldn't die, wouldn't die, I believed them, I held on to that with every ounce of my being.
On July 5th Noah was barely holding on so we made the decision to send him to Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis, 3 hours from our home. We said our goodbye's to Noah in the NICU and returned home to gather our clothes and see our other boys before heading to Indianapolis. We were packing when the phone rang and a woman asked "Is this Noah's Mom?" I told her yes and she said that we needed to get back to the hospital right away, I just remember asking her over and over, "Is Noah okay?" She finally told me that Noah had gone into cardiac arrest in the elevator on the way to the ambulance to be transported. Mark and I drove to the hospital so fast and we just kept telling each other that Noah would be okay. When we arrived there were nurses and doctors waiting for us, they were all standing at the entrance to the NICU, I knew instinctively that my son, my precious Noah, was gone. I don't even remember anyone saying the words, I just remember falling to the ground and crying. We were able to spend some time with Noah, we took footprints and handprints, and a lock of his hair, we dressed him and even had our pictures taken with him, the only pictures with him we will ever have.
In the early days and weeks following Noah's death, I felt too alone and empty. I had a wonderful husband and two great boys at home, yet there was such an emptiness inside me and I could not see beyond my broken heart. Anytime I saw babies I thought that my heart would break all over again. I cried all the time, I lost my love for life, I was just barely surviving. I knew that I had to do something, my family was suffering. Mark and I had been married for 9 wonderful years, I read of how many marriages broke up after the death of a child, I did not want to be one of those statistics, I had already lost enough. My boys needed their mom back. But how, how could anything ever be right with my life again? My child had died, how could I ever be happy again? I knew I couldn't do it alone, so I reached out, I went to local support groups, there in the safe comfort of other grieving parents I found the strength and courage to go on . . . to begin to heal, grow and rebuild my life. I honestly believe had I not found the support of other bereaved parents I would not be where I am today.
My life was forever changed that day, July 5th, 1996. I will never be the same person I was before Noah entered our lives so briefly. It has now been 4 years since Noah left us. And time has helped to begin to heal my broken heart. I think that the healing will go on for a lifetime, I don't think it is ever complete, but I do believe that with time your grief does become manageable. I would not have believed that in the early days, weeks and months of my grief. Since that time, I have tried to turn my tragedy into triumph, for Noah. I want his 2 short days on this earth to count for something. I have since started Healing Hearts, through Healing Hearts I make hospital visits to new mom's when a baby dies, I started "Bear Hugs", I do In-Services with doctors and nurses to better help them understand how to help bereaved parents and I started a monthly support group for bereaved parents who have lost a baby. Noah was featured in an informational video on GBS for the CDC, ACOG and OB's all over the United States. Through helping other bereaved parents part of Noah does live on. His life does count, he has touched more peoples lives than many people who live a lifetime. I am so proud to be his Mommy.
— Melissa Barrett, IN, USA
Melissa started Healing Hearts www.healing-hearts-of-indiana.com
To learn more about Perinatal & GBS Misconceptions, click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of Preterm Labor, click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of GBS Infection, click HERE.
To learn more about Why Membranes Should NOT Be Stripped, click HERE.
To learn more about How to Help Protect Your Baby from Group B Strep (GBS), click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of Preterm Labor, click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of GBS Infection, click HERE.
To learn more about Why Membranes Should NOT Be Stripped, click HERE.
To learn more about How to Help Protect Your Baby from Group B Strep (GBS), click HERE.