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JASON DAVID & CHRISTOPHER BRIAN - AUSTRALIA
December 5, 2013 Lived briefly (Jason) and Stillborn (Christopher) Prenatal-onset Mother's GBS Status: Not tested Gestational Age: 19.5 weeks Age Harmed: 19.5 weeks gestation |
I found out we were pregnant with twins about the 2 month mark. My best friend who is a mother of twins pushed for me to get a pregnancy test because as she put it 'You are glowing but your eyes say you are terribly exhausted'. So I did and sure enough. My first scan showed not one for but two. Wow! Crazy thing to break that news to my hubby, family and best friend. Over the moon but wondering what changes this would mean. This was my second pregnancy.
About two months in I felt quite sore around my stomach so much so that I had to ask my friends kids to please hug me from the side, not the front. I may have mentioned it to the doctors and midwife during a check up but the response was that they ultimately would have put it down to growing pains. I did feel feverish at times but ultimately put it down to weather, colds, etc. They indicated that nothing would really have caused them to think differently.
On the 3rd of December, I drove myself to hospital at about 11:30pm after some spotting. I was sat in emergency, waiting to be seen. This took over an hour. When seen and laid back for observations, my waters broke. I was told that more than likely with it being this early in the pregnancy I would more than likely lose my boys in the next 24 hours. My gynecologist arrived at about 10am the following morning to give some hope in that if there was enough fluid in the sac that I would be in for a chance to be bed ridden till the babies were closer to term. Then they would move me to a hospital that was experienced and had the technology to patch up tears in the amniotic sac but it all was dependent on having an ultrasound and introduced infection with my waters having broken.
We went down for an ultra sound. This being the 4th of December. We were due for an ultra sound that day. Booked in for 1pm to find out the sex of our babies. Instead we were in for a ultrasound to try and save the life of our twins who we also found out were two boys. There was fluid around them. They were for the most part okay... Well Jason was. Christopher was not. His heartbeat was half as it was meant to be. About 83bpm. His movements were slower and although the sonographer was grumpy about his schedule being so crammed and us being on a machine that had no printer for last photos of our boys alive, staff were trying to remain upbeat. I however in my heart knew. One placenta. Two boys. One dying. No chance for the other. I then spent the rest of the day resting and on antibiotics. If it weren't for my brother coming in to visit at 7pm while I was laying in an odd position about to be sick, I might have choked. I was really starting to feel a constant pain, not clicking to the fact that I was in labour.
About 7am they wheeled me into a birthing suite. Soon after I gave birth to my boys, naming them as they were born. Jason David was born moving. "Is he?" I asked the midwife. "Oh I was hoping you hadn't seen that". I and my husband held and named him and watched his life ebb away. I soon delivered Christopher Brian who looked poorly. A very soft depressed frontal lobe and looked quite bruised around the head and chest. Our midwife arrived and assisted the other midwives to weigh, handling, footprint and measure as well as to lovingly wrap in donated quilts for little ones and little beanies to cover their heads. They worked hard to give our boys dignity and respect and even offered to wheel me back to my room with them in my arms, respectfully covered with a blanket for my privacy and to protect others from facing my heartache in a ward full of new mum's. I spent time with my boys. I howled. I cried. I found a song that means so much called 'I will carry you' by an American Christian song group. My husband and I noted that the boys had his nose and features. They were perfect in every way.
We did run into some emotionally distressing circumstances when asked how we would like to go about organising the burial or cremation of our boys. Because Christopher was not born alive, he was deemed to be unable to be recognised by the State, so he would be held in pathology. More a specimen than anything as he had not taken a 'breath'. Where by Jason had and would receive a birth certificate, a death certificate and be held in the hospital morgue. Even the monument at the cemetery where folks who have had stillborn babies or miscarriages before the 20wk mark did not allow Jason's ashes to be placed there with Christopher's but they offered to place a plaque recognising them both. So our only option we felt we had was to have them collected together by a funeral director and have them cremated together. We did that with one or two miscommunication along the way but that was the only option we had to keep them together.
They had offered an autopsy on the boys. We declined as we felt they had been through enough but did take up the offer to have the placenta tested. The feedback we got was 'The placenta was entirely infected. They had no chance. Diagnosis: GBS bacteria gone rogue.' That apparently it can happen. Not often. Testing isn't mandatory in Queensland and usually isn't tested for till week 35. However, when I looked into it further, apparently it's mandatory in the State of New South Wales but I don't know if it's early or at the same late stage.
We asked my gynecologist, who helped us with the twins, to help us with another pregnancy two years later. This time she tested for GBS before we tried, gave a dose of antibiotics, said to try again when results came back clear and tested again just at the 3mth mark in our last pregnancy. We did have some anomalies in our final pregnancy and not related to that we had a healthy baby girl for the most part born 6wks early without antibiotics as she was born 10mins after arriving in the ambulance at hospital. Born 5mins after my waters had broken. My gynecologist unfortunately was no longer working part time at that hospital but did make sure she came in to say hello and check her over to see that she was by all accounts doing well. So all a bit of a whirlwind.
It has been years since we lost our boys but every so often I Google and try for a bit of research. I never heard of you folks till today. There's probably more medical type inquiries I could make to find out more of what might have gone wrong but I am not seeking to point fingers. If it helps in a collective sense of gaining information to assist with researching the how's and why's to try and create awareness, then ask. I'm happy to open old wounds temporarily with the aim of patching them up better than I found them. We did put an article in the paper thanking the hospital staff, especially in the birthing suite. I think they see a lot of heartache with not much acknowledgement of how it must affect them deeply but still they trudge on, doing as best they can in such a horrific life changing moment. It must impact them terribly over time. Our midwife quit and traveled overseas for a few years before considering returning. I think I was her first twin pregnancy to work alongside and had a few losses after me. I think it just massively hit home. So I am aware that the staff for the most part wear their heart on their sleeves. The hospital midwives comment of wishing I hadn't seen Jason alive... I kind of get it but it still does baffle me at times. Anyway, rambling. It's almost midnight here on Sunday night Australian Eastern Standard time. I want to get this up though, definitely, more research needs to be done. More awareness and information needs to be put into peoples heads and get discussions happening. Thank you for your patience in reading all of this. Hoping it made sense.
Sincerest regards,
Marianne Barnes, Australia
About two months in I felt quite sore around my stomach so much so that I had to ask my friends kids to please hug me from the side, not the front. I may have mentioned it to the doctors and midwife during a check up but the response was that they ultimately would have put it down to growing pains. I did feel feverish at times but ultimately put it down to weather, colds, etc. They indicated that nothing would really have caused them to think differently.
On the 3rd of December, I drove myself to hospital at about 11:30pm after some spotting. I was sat in emergency, waiting to be seen. This took over an hour. When seen and laid back for observations, my waters broke. I was told that more than likely with it being this early in the pregnancy I would more than likely lose my boys in the next 24 hours. My gynecologist arrived at about 10am the following morning to give some hope in that if there was enough fluid in the sac that I would be in for a chance to be bed ridden till the babies were closer to term. Then they would move me to a hospital that was experienced and had the technology to patch up tears in the amniotic sac but it all was dependent on having an ultrasound and introduced infection with my waters having broken.
We went down for an ultra sound. This being the 4th of December. We were due for an ultra sound that day. Booked in for 1pm to find out the sex of our babies. Instead we were in for a ultrasound to try and save the life of our twins who we also found out were two boys. There was fluid around them. They were for the most part okay... Well Jason was. Christopher was not. His heartbeat was half as it was meant to be. About 83bpm. His movements were slower and although the sonographer was grumpy about his schedule being so crammed and us being on a machine that had no printer for last photos of our boys alive, staff were trying to remain upbeat. I however in my heart knew. One placenta. Two boys. One dying. No chance for the other. I then spent the rest of the day resting and on antibiotics. If it weren't for my brother coming in to visit at 7pm while I was laying in an odd position about to be sick, I might have choked. I was really starting to feel a constant pain, not clicking to the fact that I was in labour.
About 7am they wheeled me into a birthing suite. Soon after I gave birth to my boys, naming them as they were born. Jason David was born moving. "Is he?" I asked the midwife. "Oh I was hoping you hadn't seen that". I and my husband held and named him and watched his life ebb away. I soon delivered Christopher Brian who looked poorly. A very soft depressed frontal lobe and looked quite bruised around the head and chest. Our midwife arrived and assisted the other midwives to weigh, handling, footprint and measure as well as to lovingly wrap in donated quilts for little ones and little beanies to cover their heads. They worked hard to give our boys dignity and respect and even offered to wheel me back to my room with them in my arms, respectfully covered with a blanket for my privacy and to protect others from facing my heartache in a ward full of new mum's. I spent time with my boys. I howled. I cried. I found a song that means so much called 'I will carry you' by an American Christian song group. My husband and I noted that the boys had his nose and features. They were perfect in every way.
We did run into some emotionally distressing circumstances when asked how we would like to go about organising the burial or cremation of our boys. Because Christopher was not born alive, he was deemed to be unable to be recognised by the State, so he would be held in pathology. More a specimen than anything as he had not taken a 'breath'. Where by Jason had and would receive a birth certificate, a death certificate and be held in the hospital morgue. Even the monument at the cemetery where folks who have had stillborn babies or miscarriages before the 20wk mark did not allow Jason's ashes to be placed there with Christopher's but they offered to place a plaque recognising them both. So our only option we felt we had was to have them collected together by a funeral director and have them cremated together. We did that with one or two miscommunication along the way but that was the only option we had to keep them together.
They had offered an autopsy on the boys. We declined as we felt they had been through enough but did take up the offer to have the placenta tested. The feedback we got was 'The placenta was entirely infected. They had no chance. Diagnosis: GBS bacteria gone rogue.' That apparently it can happen. Not often. Testing isn't mandatory in Queensland and usually isn't tested for till week 35. However, when I looked into it further, apparently it's mandatory in the State of New South Wales but I don't know if it's early or at the same late stage.
We asked my gynecologist, who helped us with the twins, to help us with another pregnancy two years later. This time she tested for GBS before we tried, gave a dose of antibiotics, said to try again when results came back clear and tested again just at the 3mth mark in our last pregnancy. We did have some anomalies in our final pregnancy and not related to that we had a healthy baby girl for the most part born 6wks early without antibiotics as she was born 10mins after arriving in the ambulance at hospital. Born 5mins after my waters had broken. My gynecologist unfortunately was no longer working part time at that hospital but did make sure she came in to say hello and check her over to see that she was by all accounts doing well. So all a bit of a whirlwind.
It has been years since we lost our boys but every so often I Google and try for a bit of research. I never heard of you folks till today. There's probably more medical type inquiries I could make to find out more of what might have gone wrong but I am not seeking to point fingers. If it helps in a collective sense of gaining information to assist with researching the how's and why's to try and create awareness, then ask. I'm happy to open old wounds temporarily with the aim of patching them up better than I found them. We did put an article in the paper thanking the hospital staff, especially in the birthing suite. I think they see a lot of heartache with not much acknowledgement of how it must affect them deeply but still they trudge on, doing as best they can in such a horrific life changing moment. It must impact them terribly over time. Our midwife quit and traveled overseas for a few years before considering returning. I think I was her first twin pregnancy to work alongside and had a few losses after me. I think it just massively hit home. So I am aware that the staff for the most part wear their heart on their sleeves. The hospital midwives comment of wishing I hadn't seen Jason alive... I kind of get it but it still does baffle me at times. Anyway, rambling. It's almost midnight here on Sunday night Australian Eastern Standard time. I want to get this up though, definitely, more research needs to be done. More awareness and information needs to be put into peoples heads and get discussions happening. Thank you for your patience in reading all of this. Hoping it made sense.
Sincerest regards,
Marianne Barnes, Australia
To learn more about Perinatal & GBS Misconceptions, click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of Preterm Labor, click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of GBS Infection, click HERE.
To learn more about Why Membranes Should NOT Be Stripped, click HERE.
To learn more about How to Help Protect Your Baby from Group B Strep (GBS), click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of Preterm Labor, click HERE.
To learn more about the Signs & Symptoms of GBS Infection, click HERE.
To learn more about Why Membranes Should NOT Be Stripped, click HERE.
To learn more about How to Help Protect Your Baby from Group B Strep (GBS), click HERE.